Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Delicate Balance of Courting

While courting is no doubt very, very fun at first, it can be horribly straining as well once we pass a few weeks or so, and become familiar enough that we are halfway comfortable.  This exists, I think, because we simultaneously want to find out as much information as possible while giving out only positive feedback and positive information about ourselves.  We don't want conflict.  We want paradise.  It is one of the worst possible scenarios, because we should in fact seek the most realistic possible engagements with the other person to simulate possible real life at some point in the future.  Both parties may placate each other for so long, and with such veracity because they want it to work, at times desperately, when the best possible solution is to leave early and save time.

So the complications are many, especially when we make compromises we ordinarily wouldn't make, and try to sound, for instance, enthusiastic about an idea when we're not, or say that something is okay with us, when, in fact, our inner voices scream that it is not okay at all.

In my experience, the most bonding possible scenarios occur when we can break through the anti-reality, the vacuum, that is courtship, and somehow sit in closer proximity to each other without rushing the actual intimacy part.  I'm not sure, outside of good well placed humor, this occurs, though.  Otherwise, I'm afraid, we're in for a lot of wasted time. 

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